Something I Can Never Have
by SereneDream
Summary: He was a married man who fell in love with one of his friends... KO/OC, three parter.
1. I

I do not own anything except for my character Taylor!

 **I - How did we end up like this?**

 **X**

 **"Kiss me."**

It wasn't the liquor talking.

It was far more than that.

This pent up sexual frustration between Kevin and Taylor had finally exploded into something inevitable and even if he came to, realizing how wrong all of this was, he wouldn't dare give up this feeling of her body against his.

He placed his hands on her cheeks and finally their lips collided in a forceful kiss, his tongue darting through her bottom lip with ease. She let him in, her soft moan pouring into his mouth as his tongue slid across hers. Hands caressed her sides, sliding underneath the back of her shirt. His nails gently dug into her skin, sending shivers up and down her spine twice over.

It was pure ecstasy.

Every thought of his life back home, his wife especially, faded from his mind. All that mattered was Taylor's body pressed against the bathroom stall of that club.

"Fuck," Kevin mumbled, his cell vibrating in the pocket of his jeans, totally killing his mood.

He wanted nothing more than to fuck her right then and there if it weren't for his wife Morgan calling.

"Let's go," he breathed, staring into Taylor's green eyes- his look so powerful, it was enough to lead her out of the bathroom with him.

They didn't bothering telling their friends they were leaving. It would only bring up suspicions of the two of them leaving together. So they dodged through the crowd, Kevin leading the way out the exit. He hailed a cab and neither one spoke a word the entire ride.

Instead they sat in silence, about to jump outta their skin for one another. Every so often his fingers slithered past her thighs, making it extremely hard for her to control the sounds threatening to spill from her mouth.

Once they pulled up to the hotel entrance, he tossed the driver a twenty while Taylor hopped out.

Kevin wasn't too far behind, his eyes locked in on the blonde beauty parading to the elevators.

He licked his lips, his eyes scanning every inch of her body. He'd been doing that the entire evening; wishing he could peel off that tight, black dress with only his teeth. He could feel his pants tighten while his eyes scanned her tanned legs peeking through the extremely short hem of her dress, his heart racing as he imagined her heels draped over his shoulders.

He needed her.

The weekly run ins at the performance centre, nights out with their group of friends and shameless flirting had finally led to this. She'd set a fire off inside him and it made it a hell of a lot easier doing what he did earlier in the night.

He was sitting at their group's table with Breeze and Rollins, the trio pissing themselves laughing at Dean who'd gotten dragged onto the dance floor by Renee. But his eyes shifted to the blonde moving and grinding between Paige and Becky.

Taylor was mesmerizing, even without the booze. He was imagining her body up against his, and it was driving him absolutely crazy.

 **"Come find me."**

He didn't take too long, weaving in and out of the crowd. He pulled her from her friends, the two of them too drunk to notice she was gone.

That's when he tried to kiss her, forgetting they were out in the open. So she pulled him by the hand, leading them to the bathroom just awhile ago.

At the hotel, not a word was spoken in the elevator or down the hall to his room. But once he slipped that card into the slot and kicked open the door, his mouth was on hers and her legs wrapped around his waist.

He carried her to the bed, throwing her down onto the crisp white sheets. He crawled in between her legs, pinning her hands above her head. Her eyes opened for a second, the night's sky peering into the room from the opened drapes. But her eyes closed once his fingers slipped past the hem of her dress, slowly dancing along her inner thigh, circling round and round. She let out a sigh followed by a moan, her legs quivering from the overwhelming sensation.

"Don't move," he muttered, letting her hands go. His own hands grabbed the bottom of her dress, slowly sliding it over her body, revealing gorgeous, smooth skin he wanted his mouth all over.

His lips nibbled her neck, down her chest, capturing her nipples along the way as his tongue glided down her stomach. She was completely over the edge as his tongue lingered around her opening, teasing.

He devoured her, sending her body into shock as she lay at his will.

She moaned, her hand nearly covering her mouth.

"Let it out," he said, moving her hand away.

But he wasn't getting her off that easy. He left her on the bed, reeling from the sensation as he dug into his wallet to retrieve a condom. He undressed, returning to his place between her legs again. He slipped his condom on, sliding into her painfully slow. His head fell back, a satisfied moan escaping his lips. He'd imagined this feeling for so long and here he was, sliding in and out of this beautiful creature.

That alone could have made him reach the brink of insanity. But he quickly lay on the bed, pointing for her to come close.

"Fuck me," he said, holding out his hand. She willingly grabbed it, positioning herself overtop him. Once her hips crashed against his, taking in every inch of him, he couldn't hold back. He groaned, the motion of her rolling hips making his salivate.

She arched her back and he grabbed her breasts, sure he was nearing the end.

He felt her tighten around him and his hand quickly found her most sensitive spot, circling so they came together- their loud moans filling the room and probably the one next to them.

There was no going back and why would he even bother?

Because he cheated?

No.

He'd just had the best sex he had in months.

His selfishness meant nothing and married or not, he didn't care who he was hurting.

xXx

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" Kevin asked.

Taylor nodded, slowly backing away from Dean and Renee who were planted in front of a monitor watching the beginning of the night's show.

It was the night after Kevin and Taylor fucked and she really wasn't expecting much of a conversation to follow.

She figured it was just a hit it and leave it kind of deal.

Taylor knew he was married… He had kids he'd talk endlessly about for Christ sake.

And he cheated.

And she was the other women.

She felt sick just thinking about it, just really thinking about it.

But she wasn't as drunk as they both thought. Neither was he. They both knew just exactly what the hell they were doing. The flirting and the glances shared between each other leading up to last night was anything other than friendly.

She could have stopped herself from leading him to the back of the club to fuck.

Hell, she could have shot him down a couple weeks before when whatever this was began to brew between them at the performance centre.

But she didn't. She couldn't, because for some reason she wanted him just as bad as he wanted her.

He led her down the hall, finding a spot away from anyone behind a closed door. They piled into an empty dressing room, searching out the room for anyone first.

"So," he began, trailing off as he didn't even know where to begin.

The night before was such a whirlwind that he was still at a loss for words.

"Last night..." She mumbled.

"Yeah, that's why I wanted to talk to you."

"Was that supposed to happen?"

He nodded. "Yeah... Well I wanted it to."

He was sure of it.

"Look, I don't wanna come between you and your wife," she said, her eyes cemented to the ground as guilt burrowed in her stomach, "But I already have."

Kevin had such a faraway look in his eyes, like he didn't even know who she was even talking about.

"It's uh… It's complicated with her," was all he could really say.

"And now it's complicated with us," she whispered, feeling like their friendship was hanging in some freaky taboo limbo.

"I don't want it to be like that," he said, his fingers brushing against her check.

She sighed, leaning into his touch.

"I took you back last night for a reason."

"One night stand?" She asked.

He shook his head. "No."

Slowly he leaned in, kissing her.

"Kevin," she whispered, his hands immediately on either side of her cheeks as he kissed her lips again.

"What's this supposed to be?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly, letting her out of his grip to lean against the wall.

"So what now?" She sighed.

"I wanna see you again."

"You do?"

She felt stupid for even asking... It was like him leading her to an empty room and kissing her wasn't convincing enough.

"Yeah I do."

"Okay."

She accepted that she was going to be his side piece... Maybe for just one more night. Or many more to come.

"We're at the same hotel aren't we?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay... I'll see you after the show."

With that he kissed her again, the two standing in the middle of the room with their foreheads pressed against each other's, eyes closed.

This is what their friendship had led to- a secret affair behind everyones backs, his wife's especially.

They left the room, one after another, each walking in different directions of the arena left with the idea of this "relationship" of sorts they had just established.


	2. II

**I do not own anything except for my character Taylor!**

/

 **II - Guilt and everything in between**

 **X**

"Yeah, this is my wife Morgan," Kevin said, introducing his wife to Dean and Seth.

Taylor looked on from her spot between Paige and Becky, her stomach flip flopping at the sight of Kevin's wife and his two kids standing beside him- just a few feet away from her.

She felt sick, utterly sick to her stomach at the thought of standing in the same room with the wife she was betraying just as much as Kevin was.

She caught a glance of him staring at her, thought of just a few hours ago popping into her head. He needed release before his wife and kids had flown in.

"Is that Taylor?" His little girl asked, pointing to where she stood.

She froze as the little girl walked on over, pulling her brother Alex by his hand. Kevin and Morgan followed, making this even more uncomfortable. But Taylor kept her cool which was harder than she ever thought.

"Hi," the little girl said.

Taylor put on a bright smile, kneeling down to her level. "Hey... What's your name?"

She already knew her name... She knew a lot about his kids since he talked endlessly about them.

 _Her name was Brianna._

"Brianna."

"I have a friend named Brianna... Well she goes by Brie." Taylor smiled, pointing to the girl's shirt.

"I like your shirt."

Brianna smiled, proud that Taylor noticed her own gear.

"You're her favourite," Morgan said, a smile on her face as she played with Brianna's hair.

"Yeah, you are," Kevin added, staring down at Taylor who was looking right up at him.

"Awww, that's so cute," Becky gushed.

"You are cute," Taylor said, returning her attention to Brianna. At least she was easy to talk to and look at in this awkward situation.

"I'm Morgan," his wife greeted, extending her hand.

Taylor stood to her feet, shaking the women's hand.

 _'Keep your cool',_ the little voice inside her head repeated.

"Taylor," she said, shaking Morgan's hand.

 _Crazy awkward._

"You really are her favourite. Her and Alex argue over whose better- you or John Cena."

Taylor looked at Alex who was smiling. "That's okay... I could never compete with Cena anyways."

"She really is better," Brianna pipped up.

Taylor smiled, again her eyes meeting Kevin's.

"We should find your seats before the show starts," he said, picking Brianna up in his arms.

Morgan nodded, grabbing Alex's hand. "Well it was nice to meet you," she said, smiling at Taylor.

"Yeah you too... I'll see you out there Brianna."

The little girl waved as the "happy" family descended down the hall, passing the curtain hung in gorilla while Taylor stood wondering how he could be so unfaithful to such a beautiful women like Morgan and hurt their kids in the process.

One thing was for sure. After seeing his wife face to face she wanted to end things. She was positive about that.

But a second later she'd go back on that thought with the realization that she was actually enjoying herself which she thought was sickening.

She sighed, thankfully Paige and Becky too caught up in their own conversation to notice Taylor's frustration.

She didn't know what to do. She didn't even know if she had it in her to break this off.

She should have but she chose to ignore her conscious, accepting this miserable lifestyle of watching the man she was falling in love with continue his life at home like absolutely nothing was going on.

xXx

 _ **'What is wrong with us?'**_

Kevin sighed, staring down at the text Morgan had sent almost a half hour ago.

But he couldn't text back. He didn't know what the hell he could say to possibly make their relationship any better.

Especially while Taylor lay in the bed beside him, after basically pouring her heart out.

 _"How much longer are you going to do this to me?"_

 _"What?"_

 _"This? I'm... Im falling in love with you, Kevin. I shouldn't be but I can't help it."_

 _He really didn't have an answer for her. It was becoming more complicated throwing emotions into the mix but that was the risk either one was willing to take when it came to what happened behind closed doors._

 _"And we can't do this forever... It's going to come to a point when you're going to stop and just be with_

 _her."_

 _"What makes you so sure of that?" He couldn't help but ask, the fact that she expected him to completely forget about her and what they had going on kind of stinging._

 _"Because you'll never love me like you love her... And you do love her, don't deny it. I'm just here, filling whatever void you want me to till everything's fine with the two of you."_

 _He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands._

 _"But I won't be here forever... And I'll make sure of it."_

She was right.

She wouldn't be around forever, allowing him to play around with her heart and every emotion swimming inside her head. There'd come a point when she'd get sick of it, and what she just said proved she was inches away from following through.

Picking up his phone, he typed a message but quickly erased it, over and over again till finally he sent something.

 _ **'I'll take some time off and we'll fix things.'**_

Did he agree with his solution?

No.

He didn't want to leave Taylor, but he knew in the end she couldn't have him. She wouldn't allow herself no matter how much she went back on her word.

And all he could do was accept that.

Or try to, at least.

xXx

"Where'd you go last night?" Paige asked, arm around Taylor's neck as the two entered the club they'd officially be getting shit faced at.

Taylor shrugged, kind of ashamed she used one of her friends in a time of need.

"I uh, went to see Seth."

She went to fuck him actually.

"What?" Paige laughed, more shocked than anything.

"It's uh... It's complicated," she yelled over the music, hoping Paige would drop then whole thing. Taylor didn't want to be reminded why she even hooked up with Seth in the first place.

"You're gonna love this then," Paige laughed, pulling Taylor through the grinding crowd to their friends table.

"Hey," Seth greeted first, a small smile forming at his lips once he saw Taylor.

But she was on a whole different cloud once she realized Kevin was at the table too, instead of the airplane where he was supposed to be.

He saw her, obviously, and she noticed his grip tighten around his beer bottle once she sat beside Seth.

He'd heard about their night together- Dean spilling every single detail like the headboard sounding as if it was going through the wall, rendering Seth embarrassed.

Kevin was jealous... Actually jealous. He'd texted her that night, asking her to come by before he had to leave and he got absolutely nothing in return.

He found his chance to talk to her once their entire table was too drunk to notice shit. Half of them were out on the dance floor, the others arguing over anything wrestling when Kevin motioned for her to follow him out the exit.

To both their surprises she did.

"Why are you here?" She asked, arms folded across her chest. They stood in the back of the club, mostly hidden by trees from the drunks roaming around.

"I don't leave till tomorrow morning, remember?"

Silence.

"So you spent the night with Seth?"

"Who'd you hear that from?"

"Dean."

Of course... She knew Dean wasn't leaving once he knew she was in the adjoining bedroom with Seth.

"Why do you care?"

"Oh, I care..."

"You shouldn't..."

"I care about who you're fucking, okay?"

"I'm not doing this outside in the fucking trees, Kevin."

"Doing what, Taylor? Talking?"

"I'm not yours- I'm not your wife, I'm not your girlfriend, I'm nothing! So you shouldn't care who the fuck I choose to sleep with."

"Yeah and what if I do, Taylor? What if I actually give a shit about you?"

"It wouldn't mean anything at this point."

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah! I am actually! You're going home to be with your family and I'm okay with that. That's where you're supposed to be," she said, her voice breaking. Tears formed but thankfully they didn't fall.

"You're not okay with it..."

He could see right through her.

She sighed, about to walk away but he grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"Tell me you're not okay with it," he whispered.

She wouldn't look at him- it'd only make her look weak once the tears actually fell from her eyes.

"I don't need to," she managed to say.

"You think I wanna do this? You think I wanna leave like this?"

"You should... She's your wife, Kevin."

"What if I actually wanna stay and be with you?"

She finally looked in his eyes and there was those reads threatening to fall. "You can't."

"But I do."

"Why?"

He closed in on the space between them, his lips pressed against her forehead. "Because I'm in love with you, Taylor."


	3. III

**I don't own anything but my character Taylor!**

/

 **III - Some things have to come to an end.**

 **X**

The water pouring down Taylor's body and Kevin's mouth all over her was long overdue.

Three weeks of no contact what so ever and leaving things the way they did brought Taylor back to Kevin's room once he checked in, and they didn't waste any time.

They didn't even speak.

He opened his door and pulled her in, him needing her as much as she needed him.

Even though going back home was much needed- having caught up on missed time with his kids and patching up his relationship with Morgan the best he could.

But he missed Taylor.

He missed her laugh, her smile, her body... He missed her entirely.

So they spent most of their night in the shower and between the sheets, trying to catch their breath in the wee hours of the early morning.

Taylor lay on her stomach, orgasm riddled and worn out, her damp hair draped over her shoulder as she propped her head against her hand. Kevin smiled at her, his fingers running up and down her back.

"You're beautiful."

"Even at this hour?" She smiled, her tired eyes heavy.

"Of course."

"Really?"

"Really."

He lay beside her, his arms snaking around her middle and pulling her close. He gently kissed her neck, leading all the way to her ear.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered.

She smiled, eyes closed as she fell asleep in his arms- the feeling so natural.

He lay there, like he'd down whenever she fell asleep, contemplating what the hell he was going to do.

Not seeing her for the past three weeks definitely made him realize how crazy he was for her.

If only it was that easy to tell her he loved her- to simply walk around with her hand in his like it was completely normal, like they were a couple...

But life had other plans.

His phone rang and vibrated against the table beside the bed, the noise an unpleasant one at 2am. He reached for it quickly, not wanting to wake Taylor sleeping.

But when he read the name staring back from the screen, he slipped out of the bed and headed right for the nearest room with a closing door: the bathroom.

It was Morgan calling.

"Hello?" He answered frantically.

He thought something happened to the kids or her to make her call in the middle of the night.

"Hey..." Morgan's sad voice greeted.

"What's going on?"

"Sorry, I didn't realize it was so late there."

"No, no, it's fine... Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's okay."

She paused.

"I uh, I just wanted to talk to you... Well I need to talk to you."

"Oh." His heart finally settled to a somewhat normal pace again, waiting for her to explain.

"I had that doctor's appointment this afternoon... I was going to cancel cause I thought it was nothing but..."

"But what?"

"I'm pregnant."

His whole thought process was torn- he was split between two different emotions.

Of course he was happy he'd be having another kid... His children were his life, his blessings.

But another kid being brought into a failing relationship?

And Taylor... His mind flooded with Taylor.

He wanted to be with her.

But how could he now?

"You're pregnant?" Taylor heard Kevin's voice from the bathroom. Her eyes popped open, figuring he was talking to Morgan.

"Wow..." He sounded shocked, but a glimmer of happiness shined in that single word.

She sat up, her stomach in knots and feeling as guilty as ever.

Kevin was cheating on his now **pregnant** wife.

xXx

"Hey Taylor," Seth called out down the hall of the arena.

She quickly shoved her phone in her sweater pocket before Seth appeared by her side.

"What's up?"

"Was wondering if you wanted to grab a drink after the show tonight?"

She nodded, a small smile on her lips. "Yeah... That'd be great."

Seth smiled. "Awesome... I'll see you after then."

Taylor nodded, her smile fading once he left down the hall.

And her heart broke, if it was even possible, once Kevin rounded the corner taping his wrists.

That night she overheard his conversation with Morgan and it left her with such a broken spirit. It was over a week ago and the morning she left his room was the last time she actually saw or spoke to him.

By choice.

 _"We can't do this anymore Kevin."_

"Can we talk?" He asked, finishing with his wrists.

Taylor's eyes wandered, trying so hard to keep it together.

"Please?"

"Okay..."

There they went down the hall to the one place they were confined to- an empty locker room.

"Why did you leave?" He blatantly asked.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Why?"

"I heard you talking to Morgan... And that she's pregnant."

"Oh..."

"That's why I left... That's why we can't do this."

"Taylor-"

"Who the fuck are we trying to fool? We'll never be able to actually go out on a date or do anything a normal couple does... I should have actually realized that before."

"I know..." Was all he could say because it was true.

"And that's what hurts the most... I want the most normal thing possible with you but it's impossible."

Kevin couldn't ignore the truth anymore because he agreed with absolutely everything she was saying.

"Make her happy... Make her feel what I've been feeling this entire time," she mumbled, tears falling from her eyes, "Make her feel like she's crazy in love with you, Kevin."

xXx

"Congratulations man," Dean said, patting Kevin on the shoulder as himself and the rest of their group of friend's circled around the newly made father of three.

"She's the cutest," Renee gushed, absolutely in love with the three week old baby photos on Kevin's phone.

"Little Rayna... We need us one of these babies, Dean," Renee pouted and immediately he turned on his heal, getting his ass out of that conversation easily.

"Nope."

"This calls for celebration," Miz announced, "Celebrating the fruit of your loins."

Kevin chuckled, Renee handing him his phone. "Hey guys," she greeted Seth and Taylor walking up to the group.

"Hey... Is that the newest addition?" Seth asked, pointing to the pictures.

Kevin nodded, handing him the phone. "Wow, man, congrats."

Taylor looked over, a small smile on her face. "She's beautiful."

 _"You're beautiful."_

He smiled too. "Thanks."

"We're going out to celebrate the kid," Tyler informed, "You guys coming out?"

Seth nodded. "I'm taking her out but we'll stop by afterwards," he said, pointing to Taylor.

Kevin knew Seth and Taylor were dating but it still hurt a little knowing he never had a chance to treat her the way Seth was doing.

But it was for the best.

That's all he could keep telling himself.

And of course, living up to her request.

 **"Make her happy... Make her feel what I've been feeling this entire time... Make her feel like she's crazy in love with you."**


End file.
